Trauma-Informed Care at Liza Therapy: BPD and Emotional Dysregulation

Parenting a teenager who struggles with intense emotions, rapid mood shifts, or traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can feel like riding a roller coaster with no brakes. One moment your teen may be clinging to you in desperation, and the next pushing you away with hurtful words. As a parent, it’s easy to feel like nothing you do is right—and that the emotional landscape keeps shifting beneath your feet.

First, let’s name this: it’s hard. It’s not a reflection of your parenting or your love. You’re navigating patterns that are often rooted in deep pain, sensitivity, and fear of abandonment—traits that aren’t about manipulation, but about survival.

What helps? Connection. Predictability. Co-regulation. Skills from approaches like Emotionally-Focused Family Therapy (EFFT), Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT), and attachment-based models teach us to respond to the need beneath the behavior, rather than the behavior itself. That means validating their experience ("I see how hard this is for you") while still holding firm boundaries ("It’s okay to be upset, but it’s not okay to yell").

If you’re in this space, you’re not alone. Your relationship with your teen—no matter how stormy—can still be a source of healing. And sometimes, the most powerful thing you can offer is your regulated presence in the face of their emotional storms.